Category Archives: I do not know what anything is for

We’ll See

Che Sara Sara

I haven’t written a blog post here since April 4th. I don’t really know why except to say I just wasn’t inspired to do so – which surprised me because normally I have all kinds of ideas swimming in my head that I want to write about and share with you, so please forgive me for my silence. I have no doubt you will.

Actually, I thought it was a month since my last post, not almost two! I totally lost track of time – completely understandable when dedicated to a path that tells us that time doesn’t really exist.

Still, the old me would have judged myself as being irresponsible, uncommitted, undisciplined, blah, blah, blah. The “me” that’s writing this knows better.

I may not know why or what anything is for, but I do know I can’t judge it.  I can’t judge it because I don’t know what anything is for. Funny how the truth always makes a complete circle and the beginning is the end. As the Course says, this is a journey without distance.

“The journey to God is merely the reawakening of the knowledge of where you are always, and what you are forever. It is a journey without distance to a goal that has never changed”    T 8. VI. 9

So if I can’t judge anything because I don’t know what anything is for, then how can I tell if something that I wanted to happen didn’t or if something happened that I didn’t want to happen is a good or bad thing?

If either scenario caused me to be attached to the outcome, or suffer in any way, I’d be suffering for no good reason…because I can’t judge what anything is for. I have plenty of life experience, as I know you do, when I thought something that happened was a good thing, that turned into a  bad thing, that turned into something else once again. The specifics don’t really matter, as beautifully exemplified by this famous story of the Zen monk…O

One day a Zen monk walks into the village and there’s great jubilation. He inquires into what’s happening and the villagers tell him that they’ve acquired a new horse; a symbol of wealth and status at the time. They tell him how great it is that they have this horse and all he does is shrug his shoulders:

“we’ll see…”
He comes back a few days later and a group of the villagers have crowded around an injured boy. The zen monk finds out that the boy was riding the new horse, fell off and broke his leg. The villagers shake their heads, worried and tell him how terrible this is. He shrugs:
“we’ll see…”
A few weeks later the monk returns to the village; this time, there is great commotion…a war has broken out between the territories. All the male villagers must go and fight, except for the boy with the broken leg, which has not yet healed. ‘Isn’t it wonderful that he broke his leg…now his life has been spared’, exclaim the villagers. The monk smiles and shrugs:
“we’ll see…”
Which reminds me of the famous saying in songs and films…”Che sara sara”
And in the complete acceptance of what will be will be, comes a sweet surrender to what is. This is where peace lives.
It is my intention to write more often…but we’ll have to see.

Dancing with Chaos

When dealing with chaosdo you crumble or

If you were to walk into a busy restaurant kitchen in the throws of prepping for the next meal, I’m sure it would appear quite chaotic. Pots, pans, containers everywhere; crowded prep tables; noise from food being chopped and processed and people running from one thing to another.

But the cooks in that kitchen don’t see it as chaotic – except on a bad day  when everything seems to go wrong. A good cook, comfortable in his or her function sees harmony not discord. They’re joined in common purpose. The cook looks past the frenzy, the brimming pots and pans, the crowded prep tables and crammed cutting boards. They don’t think beyond the next few hours (or minutes)  because they can’t. There’s too much to do right now.

For years this was my training in how to dance with chaos. Day after day, I’d be a witness to how the “impossible” happened. How on most days everything that needed to get done, got done, just in time.  Night after night the tempo quickened in peeks and I witnessed the body forgetting it’s pains, it’s exhaustion, and how it rose to meet the challenge with an energy it didn’t have a moment ago. As if by magic movement happened and each night a hundred people or so got their dinner.

After many many days and nights of this, I began to notice that my body was never tired when my mind needed it not to be. I experienced first hand that the state of my body was undeniably linked to the state of my mind. Eventually I would come to know, as we all must on the journey to Truth…

That my body is in my mind. And if my body is in my mind…so is everything else.

That movement is involuntary.

It happens in an instant as I reach to stir the sauce, or flip the sauté pan. It’s guided by a muscle memory, honed by  years of practice so that even split second timing over high heat, in crowded conditions are no match for the dance that dances itself.

Time did funny things too. It would collapse or expand to meet the purpose. What would normally take 30 minutes would be done in ten,  and hours would pass like minutes when I was so focused…I was my sauté pan and Presence took over time.

Judgement  too began to loosen itself as I saw over and over that I was wrong.

Thousands of times I witnessed that what I judged as things going wrong – like not ordering  enough salmon for Saturday night – was in fact the inspiration for creating a new dish that became a customer favorite until the day we closed: or the disaster of someone quitting was necessary to made room for the perfect person to showed up.  And so I learned…

I do not know what anything is for.

Workbook Lesson 25

Each day I would experience a miracle or two or three. After a while I began to expect them as natural and I learned to look beyond appearances.

When miracles don’t seem to come, I know now, that I cannot judge.

And when chaos appears…as it will from time to time…I remember it’s been my dance partner many times before and though I may not know what anything is for, I know that our moves are well rehearsed. I know this dance so well my body knows how to float with it,  keeping up with it’s sudden moves and change of tempo as I let myself be gently guided by a mind at peace, securely held in the arms of chaos.

And so I learned that I am not the dancer but the dance… and the laws of chaos, the laws of the world fade away and I am once again in harmony with the rhythm of creation.


Truth comes to us in many forms and it’s always a perfect dance.

Many blessing to you,


As always, I’d love to hear from you. Please feel free to comment below.

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