The Split Mind

Cracked

When I was younger I was very ambitious. I thought I didn’t really matter unless I made something of myself. Even that expression sounds weird to me now.

Make something of myself?

What does that even mean?

Yet we all know exactly what that means. We’ve been told so many times, in so many ways  we rarely even question it…until life throws us a curve ball (or two or three) and our concept of “myself” gets shaken.  It’s a good day when that happens.

Yet most of us, conditioned by the thinking of the world, don’t see the opening that a fractured self concept presents. We don’t see the gift of it. Instead we see all the reasons we’re not good enough. We hurl more curve balls to this self than the world ever did.

But if we’ve got ambition, talent and a healthy work ethic, we try harder to make it in the world. It drives us to years of education, 60 hour work weeks, building a career and a family, making more money, buying more stuff…thinking we need all this to sustain us. And the eyes of the world call this self a success. And we believe it…until we don’t.

We may have done a heroic job of patching up the fracture in the concept of the self, but it never really healed. We don’t know yet that the split can’t fully close, that what lies beyond it is Life, that what we really want is for it to crack open because that’s where freedom is. Instead we choose to go through battlefields wounded and afraid until we’ve suffered enough.

A Course in Miracles calls this fracture, our split mind. Each side houses a distinct, irreconcilable  thought system. One belongs to the ego, the other to Spirit; one is based on fear, the other Love, and only one of them is real.

We spend lifetimes functioning from the ego, because that’s the operating system of the world. We’ve forgotten the other world, ruled by love and forgiveness, where the self is the Self, whole, complete, innocent, more wondrous than we can imagine. Yet imprisoned in the ego’s side of the split we spend countless lifetimes trying to be a fraction of what we already are.

That’s why “make something of myself” doesn’t make sense!

The light that shines through the cracks, that never stops, that whispers the wonders of who we are, calling us to the right side that promises us an end to suffering, pain, depression, loneliness and separation because it doesn’t know these things, but knows we do – even if only in dreams. It promises us perfect happiness because that’s where we really live.

The crack is an opening to our freedom, that gets larger as we listen to its siren song. Sometimes it breaks us open suddenly, but mostly it’s a slow, perfectly orchestrated process where the Spirit takes all the ego throws at us and sings us a different song. Not a lullaby  that lulls us to sleep, but a happy tune that wakes us up and asks once more, as it has countless times, to choose Love again.

Many blessings, Silvia

And now my dear companions, it’s your turn…

What comes to your mind? Do tell us…

 

 

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    28 thoughts on “The Split Mind

        1. Hi Sylvia.. thank you for writing and sharing your insights. I have been split minded for a long time. Hence reaching out to you. I appreciate what you are giving. At this point in my growth I need reminders to listen more intently to the right minded whispers. Take care, Cindy

          1. We’re all split minded Cindy or else we wouldn’t be here, so we all need these reminders! Happy to help in any way I can.Thank you for your comment Cindy!

    1. Your image for this post illustrates this perfectly. I order for a seed to become a plant, it must “break” and in a sense destroy itself to become something new, something great, something better. And to bring it back to your point, sometimes that includes destroying old beliefs or thought patterns that try to keep us a perfect little seed. At the same time, that seed has all it needs to sprout a new life. All it waits for is the right conditions.

    2. I love how you view life Silvia! I am so blessed to have you in my life. This is such a great post and I’ll be sharing it dear friend. Thanks for being YOU!

    3. Silvia,
      Beautifully said, as usual. I recently posted on image of myself doing a forearm balance. I thought about the months of trying to master the pose– the falling forwards and backwards and crashing to the floor. If it weren’t for the “falls”, the pose would have been meaningless. In other words, the cracks not only make us stronger, but also help us live with a different and more appreciative perspective. Thanks, Silvia.

    4. Oh, Silvia…I love this post! So much of it speaks to me… the “whispers of wonder” and the statement about finding freedom particularly. Funny how we always think we should be DOing more, but in the act of DOing, we forget to simply BE!

    5. I love this! “Yet imprisoned in the ego’s side of the split we spend countless lifetimes trying to be a fraction of what we already are.” This so perfectly sums up how I feel about healing. We are never broken, we have just forgotten the truth about ourselves.

    6. Silvia, I got goose bumps reading this. I have blogged about something similar myself. I remember very, very vividly, the day I “saw the light beyond the crack” and realised that I COULD DEFINE MY OWN SUCCESS, after years and years of striving for the societal definition (my ego side) and being very unhappy. What is success or ‘making something of yourself’ without happiness? Can we really call it success? NO WE CAN NOT. We must follow spirit to find happiness and that is true success. Thank you so much for this wonderful post. Made my day!

    7. Very well put. I’ve been cracking open my shell this year. It can be hard sometimes but so worth it when you get to reach through the crack and find out what’s on the other side.

    8. “The crack is the opening to our freedom” – well said, Silvia. I’ve been operating from the ego – way too long. Thankfully, it’s different now. The heart beats strong. Great article.

    9. lovely words, silvia. “the light that shines through the cracks, that never stops, that whispers the wonders of who we are . . . ” this line gives me chills. (the good kind!)

    10. This is absolutely gorgeous. I can relate to this entirely- the idea of using our ambition in an accepted way, always chasing something that doesn’t fully fulfill us in the end. I love this line: “We don’t know yet that the split can’t fully close, that what lies beyond it is Life, that what we really want is for it to crack open because that’s where freedom is. ” Beautiful!

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